When the Networks and Mentors Get You Further Away From Your Goals
And How to Stop This
Networks and mentors are great, but they don't make you a different person, they just help expose who you are to a wider audience. And if 'who you currently are' is not a great fit for what you desire, these networks are going make this painfully obvious to everyone but you.
It was a bucket of cold water when a mentor once recommended to me a role that was way below what I actually wanted. He said "I will try really hard to help you make this happen" - to emphasize, that even this role was something that I needed to fight for. I left that conversation feeling defeated and done, I felt like I hit a wall that I can't overcome. After all, I've done all the things that I was told to do. I was lucky to have mentors and networks, I was doing the things I didn't really want to do, just to get experience and exposure, and all it led me to was nothing.
It took me a while after that to understand that you can't show up with an old identity when you want a new life. Your mentors and networks might get curious about you to see what identity you are carrying with you and match you with the right role for that. Because, while your titles and talent might make you a fit for one job, your identity needs to match that job as well. And it's not your mentor's job to shift your identity, it is your job to do that.
Your identity is more than just " I see myself as a leader", it's all the things that this identity needs to do: see how you come across to others, know how to rein in on your impulse reactions, know what your vision actually is... etc. This is deep work that we don't talk about in the big boy circles of people in suits and ties.
This is why my Leadership Mastery Accelerator program starts with Self Mastery before we move on to mastering your teamwork leadership skills. Because here's the thing: we all have 'mastered' a certain external persona that we put on in front of other people, and that's a good thing. However, humans are very good at detecting what's underneath: if it is conflict, insecurity, inadequacy, dislike of other people or ourselves, uncertainty about the real mission.... (fill in the blank for yourself)... then they will subtly not trust you.
In Self Mastery I help people increase their internal and external self awareness so that they know how they are perceived but also understand what internally needs work and attention, in order to show up as the powerful and influential leader that they want to be.
So that the next time you show up in a networking event, the people around will see what you're ready for and you will be amazed how easily the opportunities will come. 2026 could be the year for you!
Takeaways:
Mastering your identity is your work and responsibility, not your mentors
If you don't master your inner dialogue, your mentors will permanently write you off
Your powerful leadership identity can be mastered
Next Steps You Can Take..
Sign up for my Leadership Mastery Accelerator or DM me if you want to find out more
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